reclamation points

Mar 19, 2016

I started to think that whole life was a mess, and to think that everyone around seems to have their life on track is really frustates me. It seems like every little thing i do leads to disaster, just like charlie brown. oh god, help. I won't write the current disaster I'm in on the blog, just to give some bigger picture.

I'm not into studying, or university or whatsoever. Oh just forget it, I honestly don't know what I wanted to do in life. A doctor, a painter, or a cashier or Mcdonalds?? Y' know, I seriously don't have any idea. I have been living off my 22 years of my life with the norm, I had to go to school, studying, graduated from school and university because society wants it that way. I enrolled to university, because once again, everyone does that. And it would be weird if you're doing a different ways.

Hey, what if i want to ditch school and go on a trip to Africa and rescuing leopards?? Since I was little, I have been told that the only way to survive is to getting a proper education and start to look for a job and pay off the bills. Heh, my dad did not even attend university but he is doing just fine.

I have to finish my degree although i can't bear it any longer. I just want to get away from these stuffs and do whatever i want. Ugh. No wonder I was so obsessed of the idea of marriage. I know I have been such a wishy-washy but i just can't help! If i telling this kind of stuff to anyone they would point a finger on me and says that i'm some kind of ungrateful bitch that don't know how to appreciate a good things that i'm able to have a chance of studying abroad. I did not ask for that, and why is wrong with wanting to do something else besides sit in the classroom and studying?

just for once, i want my life to be back in track. i needed help of genie, magic lamp, time machine, or guardian angel (if that really exists, because they says you have one!) or anything!

help.

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